Here’s the deal. It’s like ridiculously hard being a mother and sometimes it feels like we have lost ourselves completely. Everything has changed. Let me repeat, EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED. How we spend our time, how we feel about our careers, how our clothes fit, the way our body metabolizes food, our energy level, our hair texture… need I go on? I mean, fat on my back? How did that happen? All in the blink of an eye.
When it comes to fashion, style, and self care it can be nearly impossible to even care. I mean, most days we can barely complete a thought (#mombrain is such a real thing) and what’s the point of dressing nicely when your clothes are just going to be covered in fingerprints, spit up, and boogers? Well here’s the thing, this stuff actually IS important. Not for the sake of vanity, but for the sake of a person’s mental well-being. It’s not just happening to you, it happens to everyone! Even the “pretty-perfect-skinny-mom” has her gripes (and she just might also have more help and better meds #nojudgement), it’s all relative. Just like with anything else we have 2 choices. We can give up, quit, throw in the towel, make a million excuses, hop on the hot mess express and ride that bitter train all the way into a depression…. ORRRRR we can choose to take what we have and work with it! This post isn’t about losing weight, toning up, or getting back to what you once were. You need to start with where you are today. That girl may be gone but trust me you don’t need her back! She was replaced by someone even better, stronger, smarter, and dare-I-say prettier. You just need to learn to love her the way she is, then you can tackle the big things. Time is limited, funds are usually pretty low as is your energy level, but this doesn’t have to be so hard.
Here are a few tips for the tired, broke, and defeated mom. I can write this list because I have been there… these are things that will add value to your life!
2. Buy some new clothes that you love in the size that actually fits. I remember one friend from high school joking that we’d do anything to not go up a size, including squeezing into something that doesn’t fit or just not wearing anything other than leggings. Don’t do that to yourself. No one knows the size on the label but you, and no one cares anyway. Chances are that if you’ve had a baby something on your body is now different and some of your clothes fit you differently (it might just be your bra!) If you just buy the size you need, you’ll actually feel great.
3. Accessorize! Shoes, bags, jewelry… nothing draws attention away from the bags under your eyes like a great pair of earrings, the poop on your shirt like a great bag, and the snot on your pants like a killer pair of shoes. Plus, these things usually fit no matter how your body has changed!
4. Go out for some laughs with your friends! This isn’t a “misery loves company” plan, this is a “laughter is the best medicine” plan. Motherhood can be isolating as hell! I remember with the twins I would walk outside sometimes and the sunlight would blind me because I was stuck inside so much. Someone was always napping, sick, cranky- you name it, and it SNOWBALLS. Don’t let yourself get used to saying “no” to plans because you are tired because so far my experience is this… YOU WILL ALWAYS BE TIRED. You are responsible for the lives of other people, but most importantly you are responsible for yourself. I’ve made this mistake and it’s a hard rut to get out of. Humans are social beings, get out and get social… and I do NOT mean social media. That doesn’t count (but nice try).
5.Last but not least… Be nice to yourself and show yourself some grace. Your kids are watching, whether you think they are or not. They see you work tirelessly to serve them, but they worship YOU. When you feel good it makes them happy too, so take care of their trophy!